When you see long distance relationships always ending around you, it might seem like the odds are stacked against you, but there are tricks to help make your relationship run as smoothly as possible when the conditions are less than ideal.
Make time for each other.
Life gets busy. There is no way around this fact. You get swamped with school and work and it seems almost impossible to find a spare minute for yourself.
It’s really important not to forget your significant other in these times, even if it is a quick text to let them know that they are on your mind. In a healthy relationship, you both will recognize that life gets in the way sometimes, but making a point to reach out, however briefly it might be, will reassure your significant other that they are still important in your life.
When you have more time, making a point to talk on the phone or on Skype everyday or every other day is incredibly important. Just check in with one another. Know what is going on in each other’s lives since you can’t be around to have as many experiences together as you would under other conditions.
Be as honest as you can.
I’m not saying that you have to tell your S.O. every detail of the day, but it’s smart to let them know when you are going out. It isn’t a matter of asking permission from your significant other, but instead a matter of respect. They might like to know that there will be limited communication, either due to bad service at a frat party, the fact that checking your phone when you’re out isn’t a top priority, etc. They’ll appreciate the heads up.
Plan visits. Stick to the plans.
I know sometimes situations come up where you can’t make it out to them. Sometimes these situations are unavoidable. However, it is important to make time to be together in person. A relationship can only work so well without any physical time together.
When you are together, you should actually be together. It does not matter what you do together. Every visit doesn’t have to be a mini vacation, but be present instead of glued to your phone or laptop. You only get to see each other so often. Appreciate what time you have together.
Have a life outside of each other.
Although this point is true with any relationship, it especially rings true when you aren’t able to actually be with each other in person. The long distance relationship is going to be a lot harder if all you do is wait around for the next time you have a chance to talk to your significant other. Even if it is as simple as finding a show you love to watch on Netflix, you need to have a life outside of the relationship. Taking time to see friends and go out is important. These activities will help keep your mind away from the fact that you two can’t be together when you want to be.
Trust each other.
I cannot stress this point enough. You have to trust each other to be faithful, especially in a long distance relationship. If you think they’re cheating and begin freaking out every time he/she takes a couple of hours to respond to a text or call you back, the relationship will not last.
You have to trust that your S.O. chooses to be with you because they like you. If there is other evidence to suggest they might be unfaithful, then you have every right to question them, but don’t freak out every time you are simply feeling paranoid.
I do not claim that if you follow these tips, you will have a perfect relationship. Every relationship is different. It depends on the couple and their experiences.
Long distance relationships are hard as it is without trying to follow a bunch of rules. But following these tips has kept my relationship incredibly healthy and I hope they can help others into success as well.